ended up filling shoe boxes with vomit, collected scabs in lockets, hung them round our necks like nooses

I'm actually really scared now. Really, really, really fucking scared.

Fuck Maths. Just the idea of GCSEs in general stresses me out enough but Maths is the one thing that I can't actually handle, like at all. WHY THE FUCK AM I TAKING IT A YEAR EARLY? Any other exam I'd be able to manage.

It just keeps going round my head: you're going to fail, you're going to fail, you're so shit at this Becky, you're going to be the only one failing out of fast track and everyone will pity you and think you're such a dick for ever thinking you could do this, you can't do this.

I can't do it.

I've even been wondering if I just didn't show up to the test tomorrow then maybe they'd let me do it with everyone doing it in Year 11. They won't. I'd just get into shit.

I can't even revise right. Pretty much every question that comes up in the test papers I have to look up and revise how to do them. I can't do that in the actual exam. I'm so fucked.

I'm beyond fucked.

I feel sick thinking about it and have a headache and feel like crying all the time.

Fucking hell.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.