I hate sleeping alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, alone

Day Two

A picture of what you wore today

Red polo shirt and shorts. Yes, it was a school day, I wore this to the cinema when I went to see Toy Story 3. I thought I'd show you this rather than my school uniform as a) it's more interesting b) it's more flattering and c) no paedophiles will be able to look up my uniform and match it to a specific school etc. Not that anyone would. The only people who read this are my friends. But oh well, it's nice to be certain.

There's a car alarm going off outside my window. I'm trying to listen to Los Campesinos' new EP (All's Well That Ends) which is very lovely I must say, however it is at the moment being ruined by a constant WOO WOO WOO WOO WOO noise. Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

It's half eleven and I should really go have a shower because I'm just going to be too tired to wake up tomorrow and will end up oversleeping again. I'm not going to though. I'm going to write in this blog until I-

THE ALARM JUST STOPPED. Thank fuck.

Anyway, what was I saying?

Oh yeah, I'm going to write in this blog until I feel empty again.

Everyone is going away on holiday this summer. I'm going to be left in bed staring at blank pages whilst trying to kid myself that I am in the slightest bit creative, trying to draw with uncoordinated hands and keep my mind off the fact that I'm all alone. Or I'll read until I get a headache, working my way through the books we got out from his library, to psychology books, to food packaging. I do that sometimes. Instead of fiddling I read whatever words are closest to me. Trace the typeface with my eyes and burn the black lettering into my mind. I think I might even go sit in a park by myself listening to my iPod for a few hours by myself. I would probably end up crying. I do that a lot nowadays.

I just feel very... wobbly. Shaky, even. I used to get bouts of shivering whenever I was scared or stressed or depressed. I can't hold cameras still very much. it's why low shutter speeds annoy me because they end up so blurry. I got a new tripod recently.

Oh, I forgot to mention my new camera as well. I've had it for about a week now? Small digital camera; Nikon Coolpix S8000 to be precise (don't criticise the name, I didn't pick it out myself). It's for gigs. I would never bring my DSLR to those things, far to scared of being mugged or breaking it or losing it. Although this one isn't on the cheap side actually but blame my parents for that. It's good quality though, 14.2 megapixels and everything. My DSLR is only 10. It has a better zoom than my DSLR as well. The only thing that is slightly annoying about it is the lack of manual settings I suppose.

I don't want to be a his and hers match. I never wanted to fall into that category. But I don't know what to do. I'm going to miss him. I don't want to miss him but I know I will. I feel like such a dick for that.

It's been so long.

How has it been so long?

His, Hers, Yours.

I'd like to be the third option. Thinking about it, if any pair could be the third option we could.