and she was sitting there reading this really arduous magazine article about a third world country that she couldn't even pronounce the name of

I think I'm rather boring.

Been told that before by someone close to me, but then again they almost always were out to hurt me anyway in the first place.

I don't do anything very interesting anymore. It's probably because of exams and because I'm lazy but I'm getting restless.

With them something would always come up, but it was always for the wrong reasons.

I don't know which is better, doing something with people you don't want to be around or doing nothing with people I do want to be with.

I can't get excited by anything anymore.

I have three and a bit more years of school left, then (hopefully) uni, then I don't know, a job and a middle class underlying cynicism for the world most probably. If I end up with a husband and kids by my thirties I will kill myself.

I don't want to fade away into nothing.

I'm barely visible as it is.

People are supposed to be really egocentric right? They're supposed to only really care about their own problems and shit. Well I can't even work myself up to being excited or whatever about my own problems, let alone anyone else's.

This is supposed to be the time I get to waste doing dumb shit and making mistakes and "finding myself" but really all it seems to be is EXAMS, COURSEWORK, EXAMS, COURSEWORK- schoolschoolschoolfuckingschool.

I'm exhausted all the time and I'm not even going out anymore.

I am actually going to sit here in this husk of a house and make friends with the spiders hiding away in their cobwebs; I'm going to let myself rot.

Watch me disintegrate before your very eyes.

That might be a bit boring for you though. Like watching paint dry.

Oh jeez, as soon as I said that the first thing I thought of was "Pigment, solvent and binding medium make up paint. Paint dries when the solvent evaporates. The binding medium is often a polymer and the solvent, water. There are two types of paint, water based and oil based. In oil based paint, once the solvent evaporates the oil then oxidises with the air to give a gloss finish. Paint is a colloid, meaning there are small particles in it which do not dissolve yet are too small to sink to the bottom of the paint meaning the are suspended in the substance"

I have been revising Chemistry far too much.

See what I've been saying about work taking over my life?

Oh and speaking of paint, here's some old pieces of photography homework, involving paint.